


A Court of Broken Souls

by Tamlinsmate



Category: A Court of Thorns and Roses Series - Sarah J. Maas
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-20
Updated: 2019-10-23
Packaged: 2019-11-26 07:56:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 20,591
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18177962
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tamlinsmate/pseuds/Tamlinsmate
Summary: A story of what really happened to Rhysand's sister and mother





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi Guys,
> 
> The plot for this story has been on my mind for the longest time and I finally decided to jot it down.
> 
> The story is mainly told from Rhysand's sister's pov, pov changes are denoted by ~~. 
> 
> It's not the most conventional story of his sister so please bear with me. The story is taking place post ACOFAS (you shall see why)
> 
> I hope you enjoy my rendition of what really happened all those years ago

The night was like all other nights spent in this miserable yet beautiful house. It was cold, so bitterly cold that even the fire crackling a meter away couldn’t stop her body from shaking or her teeth from chattering. She had the option of leaving the hearth that provided very little warmth to her body and moving to her bedroom on the upper level where she could lie down and smother herself with layers and layers of blankets and duvets. However, it was still early in the evening, the twilight hour had only begun to fade and she was so very tired of lying down, of the endless cycle of bathing, eating and sleeping. Every so often she'd attempt to break the habit by reading, sewing or writing letters of her time spent in this place in hopes that someday, when she was long gone, that someone would know her story. However, she reached a point where she has read every book contained in the library twice, trice over. She sewed enough dresses and their variations to supply every single female in Prythian. And she just couldn’t bring herself to write anymore, for there simply wasn’t anything left to write about. She was tired of being confined to this house, of being locked up. How long has it been since she last ran through the enchanting forests or swam in the bottomless lakes or …flew.

Days turned into weeks, weeks into months. How long has she been gone for? She allowed herself to think about it again. To wonder if anyone was out there looking for her. _He would be. He’d never give up on her._ But it’s been years now. Years! He would have moved on. _I hope he did, I hope he found love again and is happily married with_ \- She couldn’t bring herself to complete her thought as tears rapidly formed, threatening to spill if she continued. The idea of him moving on without her was too painful to think about even if she truly wished for him to be happy.

She forced herself to stop thinking about him, to stop wondering and to stop hoping but tonight her mind was her enemy. Her thoughts moved on from her lover to the matters of the world. She wondered what state the world was in exactly. She hadn’t seen a soul in years, not even a deer in passing. The last time she was amongst her people there was a war raging between the humans and faeries. The war was meant to end human slavery and all the other nasty things fae subjected their humans to. Her heart was secretly with the human folk since she saw firsthand what was being done to them. Her father, though she loved him dearly, was not the kindest soul out there especially when it came to the mortals he kept as slaves. She aided the slaves in her court whenever she could but it would never be enough to make up for the suffering that they went through so when war came she was glad for it. After much bloodshed, a truce formed between the two races which led to talks of a treaty being drawn up and of a magical wall being constructed to keep them out of each other’s businesses. Whether any of that came to pass she had no idea.

Her thoughts then drifted to her brother, her carefree older brother, who had partaken in that war. She always thought she was the luckiest sister in the world to have a brother like him. He always treated her with the same respect as he would have shown any male. Most males in her household thought she belonged in the kitchen cooking up a storm and attending to everyone’s needs or with her mother sewing gowns and being a “lady”. She laughed at this thought because despite trying her hardest not to become that typical lady everyone expected her to be, that was exactly what this prison turned her into with all the sewing, cooking and cleaning that she did. Her thoughts returned to her brother, her motivator, he never thought she should be confined to the perceptions of what a lady should be. He thought of her as an equal, sometimes to her dismay when he played rough and she ended up with scuffed knees and elbows but he always made it up to her with treats and trinkets from the other courts that he would visit with their father. The most precious gift she ever received from him was when he offered to help train her even though everyone else thought it was the dumbest idea in the world. In those training sessions she got to see all the different sides of him. She saw the tough and fierce warrior that everyone feared, the caring and worrying older brother when she would hurt herself due to her own clumsiness with swords, the patient teacher who waited for her to learn her own style of fighting, the protector who defended her against all sneering males and lastly the biggest flirt known to faeries and mortals alike! She wondered how much her brother had changed after the incident with her and their mother. She had hoped it hadn’t broken him as much as it broke her. But she knew in her heart the devastation he must have gone through for he was closest to their mother. She hoped and prayed to the gods above that her brightest star amongst the never-ending darkness hadn’t diminished.

She made her way from the fireplace to the nearest window and looked out into the empty land that lay before her. During the day the flat land flanked by pine trees could be seen stretching for miles and miles covered in flawless white snow and in the distance great snowcapped mountains filled the horizon. But tonight she could barely see a meter past the window. The lack of light caused her gaze to turn upwards towards the night sky that was devoid of any light, of any stars, almost teasing her with the darkness that could have consumed her brother. The thought caused a single tear to escape and roll down her cheek and she immediately regretted the moment she allowed herself to think of the past, to think of her family and her lover and what could have become of them. She found herself seconds away from breaking down and giving into the darkness and desolation that she fought so hard to keep at bay. She gave into that once, long ago and she vowed never to do that again. There were plenty of reasons to live and to hope even though she couldn’t think of one at the moment.

Just then she heard a noise interrupting her thoughts, the sound was faint but with her heightened hearing abilities it was unmistakably the sound of a twig snapping. Her heart rate quickened and her gaze immediately dropped from the sky to the ground, scanning every visible inch, her grief forgotten instantly. In all her years spent in this house there was never a sound that hadn’t emanated from her. The surrounding lands were always as silent as a grave.

She ran from one window to another, scanning, searching for some form of life. She wasn’t foolish enough to think that a fellow fae had stumbled across this house and was here to rescue her. She just wanted to see another creature, even if it was a mouse. She just wanted to know that she’s not alone in this world. She found nothing from the living room windows and scurried to the kitchen, she thought perhaps the sound came from the back. Again, nothing. She decided to try her luck upstairs since it would give her a better view of the surrounding lands. Before she could bolt up the stairs a loud, crashing noise startled her, stopping her in her tracks. She looked to source of the sound, her living room, and found the large wooden door ripped off its hinges and lying flat on the floor. In the doorway, stood a tall muscular male with shadows curling around his form and seeping into the area surrounding him. His pale face was as magnificent as it was scary. His dark hair was cropped short and brushed back and those eyes, those piercing violet eyes… the eyes that matched her own…

“Rhysand…” she breathed.

Her eyes widened and her hands clenched at her chest whilst she studied the male figure. No… No, it couldn’t be she thought as she took a step back. This must be some kind of trick. He can’t be here. She wondered if digging up the past was causing her to hallucinate because that could not possibly be her brother standing in the doorway.

~~

Rhysand stood as still as death. He was afraid to even breathe for fear of her disappearing. He couldn’t believe his eyes. Standing before him was his sister, paler than he remembered but still beautiful. Elain hadn’t… lied he thought to himself, still taking her in. He had not believed the seer or rather he wouldn’t let himself hope for it to be true because he couldn’t survive the pain of losing her all over again. But there she was. She was real and staring wide eyed right at him. This was no hallucination. With lightning fast speed, he crossed the distance between them engulfing her in a bone crushing hug. He slowly pulled back and gently traced the lines of her face with his fingertips, reassuring himself that this really was his baby sister.

~~

“Rhy..Rhysand. It’s really you?” she looked up at him disbelievingly. Her eyes scanned his face, looking for the telltale signs of this being a magical apparition, all the while tears escaped and rolled, one by one, down her cheeks. Her brother, after almost half a millennia, was finally standing before her. Whether this was real or not it was still a sight she never thought she’d see again.

“Oh Aedryana, I’m so sorry. All these years…I thought you were … I…” Rhysand’s voice broke as he pulled her into another fierce hug. She felt him gently stroke her hair as her lithe arms wrapped tightly around his waist. She began whispering to herself over and over again, you’re real, you’re really here, you’re real, this is real. “I’m real, Aed” Rhysand pulled back and wiped her tear stained cheeks, his own eyes were glistening with unshed tears. “Let’s go home” Familiar shadows engulfed her as he winnowed them away before she could respond.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So what do you think so far? I know it's weird to see Aed alive but it will all be revealed in due time.


	2. Chapter 2

An hour had passed since she was freed from her prison. She had been winnowed into yet another house, a mansion. She laughed at her lack of imagination for dreams allowed you to be anything you wanted to be or do yet here she was in another house, in front of another fireplace. She assumed that all the time she had spent cooped up in that house made her forget what the outside world looked like. But she gave her mind some credit for conjuring up a female she’d never seen. The servant girl had wrapped a blanket around her shaking form. The cold that had seeped deep into her bones had yet to leave and the fire, once more, did nothing.

She gave her imagination even more credit because the image it formed of her beloved brother was far better than her memory served. He looked older, more mature. He seemed to have gained weight; muscles from years of training, and the smile he sent her way from across the room made him look genuinely happy. And that’s all she ever wanted for him, to be happy. The servant girl from earlier joined his side. They had been in the room for a while now, patiently waiting for her to say something. They whispered amongst themselves. She caught some of it, the ignorant girl had told her brother that maybe she was mute. Aedryana hissed at her like a feral animal, earning a slightly stunned expression from the girl. That was all they were going to get, Aedryana refused to speak, to interact. This dream was just too cruel for her. I will not allow myself to feel, I will not embrace my brother because I know in the end I will wake up alone in that empty house. I will not fall for this deception she thought.

Another thought struck her, since this is her mind and her dream why doesn’t she conjure up more people from her past. How about the love of her life, or better yet her dead mother? And so, she willed for it to happen within the next few minutes, for both of them to walk through that door at the end of the room where Rhysand and the girl stood. She could have one big reunion party. She snorted at the thought but still angled herself to get a better view of the door. A minute passed, two. She waited some more. Eventually she grew tired of waiting and her gaze moved from the door to the pair next to it. Studying them she noticed that the servant girl was as ordinary as they came. Nothing really stood out about her though perhaps her eyes, blue grey. They were pretty. And for a servant she wore an exceptionally beautiful dress. The overall style and cut of the dress were awfully familiar though she couldn’t identify the seamstress this design belonged to, it was on the tip of her tongue but she just couldn’t get it. Growing annoyed from her brain refusing to work she brushed away the thoughts of the seamstress and continued her inspection.

She noticed an exquisite gem glinting off the girl’s finger which caused her eyes to grow in shock. That was no ordinary ring, it was the type of ring she’d notice anywhere since it was custom made for one person and one person only. That was her mother’s ring! The thought of her mother lodged free another memory; the dress. It looked familiar because that was one of the many dresses her mother had sewn the week before she was murdered. Her shock turned into anger which expanded until it reached the tips of her fingers and toes, consuming her. What was a servant girl doing with such a precious heirloom, with things she had no business touching or wearing or even looking upon. Whether this was a dream or not she didn’t care anymore for the anger she felt was very much real “Why the fuck is my mother’s ring on your gods damned finger?”

~~

The room was deathly quiet. Rhysand’s surprise at her words was visible on his face. That was the last thing he expected his sister’s first words to be upon her return. But in a way he understood, she’d never be okay with anyone handling any of their mother’s belongings especially something that meant so much and definitely not by someone whom she didn’t even know. However he knew she would understand once he told her the whole story.

He made his way to her as she stood, he could feel the anger rolling off her body. She’d always had a temper but for the most part she knew how to keep that anger in check. Today had been a lot to take in, with everything she’s been through and now finally being free. He couldn’t begin to comprehend the emotions that must be going through her head.

“Aed, I’ll explain everything” He said slowly and calmly as he cupped her face in his hands.

~~

Aedryana’s anger immediately faded as she felt her brothers calloused yet gentle hands cup her face, breaking her gaze from the ring on that female’s hand. She looked up at him, he seemed so real, his touch felt real just like all the other sensations she’s been feeling. Could it be that I’m not dreaming she wondered. Her hands slowly moved towards his face, hovering centimeters away from it, afraid to touch it like her hands would go through him or it would cause her to wake up. Eventually her hands met with the warm and smooth surface of his cheek. She was surprised at the feel of his skin, it felt so… real. This isn’t a dream, is it she thought. “This isn’t a dream Aed. I’m real and you’re free” Rhys assured her as if he knew what thoughts were going through her mind. The intrusion into her mind caused her protective instinct to kick in and she immediately put up her mental shields. Rhysand had pulled her into another one of his fierce hugs and she felt her emotions take over her as she returned his crushing embrace.

~~

Rhysand carried his little sister, who was now fast asleep in his arms, to their guest bedroom and tucked her into bed. He once again wiped her tear stained cheeks and couldn’t help the smile that crept onto his face as his heart overflowed with happiness. He really did get her back; his baby sister whom he thought was long dead. He had never forgiven himself for not arriving sooner at the cabin he was to meet his mother and sister at. If he arrived just minutes earlier the situation would have been very different. Before his mind could delve into that dark place of what ifs and maybes he stood and made his way to the windows. He drew back the curtains on all of the windows and opened a few to let out the stale air of the unused guestroom. He figured that when his sister awakens and sees this foreign room he didn’t want her to feel scared of being trapped in another cage. He wanted her to feel free and hoped the large windows and drawn back curtains will help with that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think we all know who the blue grey eyes belong to. I don't exactly want Aed to be buddies with Feyre at the moment. Feyre's more like an intrusion to her life.


	3. Chapter 3

The sun had begun its ascent over the Sidra, casting rays of warm light straight into Aedryana’s bedroom. She tossed and turned and threw her pillow over her head in an attempt to snuff out the light that was filling up her vision. She silently cursed herself for forgetting to draw the curtains last night. She wanted a few more minutes of sleep in this lovely, warm morning. Slowly her mind started to wake up and process this information. A warm morning. That almost never happens. This place is always so damn freezing cold she thought bitterly to herself.

Her eyes immediately shot open. It took a minute to adjust to her surroundings. A large room with pale pink walls, massive windows that could be compared to the size of doors, the curtains were drawn back on all of them brightening the room with morning light. Her breath caught in her throat, she knew this type of architecture. Without any more inspection she shot out of bed and went towards the nearest window. Her room was situated at the beginning of the city, overlooking the Sidra with the artists’ alley directly below her window.

She looked over the city and made out the familiar signs of the restaurants and clubs she frequented. Surprised to see them still in existence, even Rita’s, a building that didn’t seem like much during the day but at night it turned into a spectacular display of lights and music was still standing.

“Velaris” She breathed.

An overwhelming joy like she’d never felt before thrummed through her as her eyes began to flood with tears. Happy tears whilst the widest smile she could manage was displayed on her face. She was home. After an eternity she was finally home.

She hastily wiped her cheeks with the back of her hand and bolted for the door, not bothering to find her shoes.

“Rhysand” she shouted as she scrambled down the staircase. “Rhysand” She shouted once more, happiness evident in her voice. She found him in the main living room, the room from last night. He was with the servant girl again. She didn’t pay much attention to the girl or the other occupants in the room as she tackled her brother with a bear hug, without missing a beat Rhysand hoisted her up by her waist and spun them around. They were both smiles and giggles by the time he set her down.

“Rhysand, I’ve missed you!” She held him at arm’s length inspecting him, her foggy memory of last night cleared. None of it had been a dream. It was all reality, she was rescued, she was free, she was home and with her family. She did a quick glance around the room, not knowing what kind of situation she walked into. She saw the tentative looks on the faces of the surrounding people. She knew some of them, her family and friends. They took a step forward looking like they didn’t know whether they should say something or embrace her. As if she was fragile and needed to be handled with care and caution. She knew they were being cautious due to the state her mind could have potentially been in after being locked away for so long and so she took it upon herself to let them know they didn’t need to worry. She launched herself at her cousin, Morrigan.

“Mor!” She exclaimed as she wrapped her arms around her cousin, Mor gave her a tight squeeze in return, reluctant to let go as Aedryana quickly moved on as if the other occupants might disappear if she wasn’t quick enough “Cass, Az!” She embraced her two sparring partners turned friends before returning to Rhysand’s side. Her smile widened as she took in the sight of the 4 of them. “I’ve dreamed of this day for so long that I had stopped hoping it would come true” as she spoke she noticed the smile on their faces falter and quickly amended “I think this might be the happiest day of my life” she proclaimed as her heart expanded with joy, memories of another day she declared as the happiest in her life sprung forward. Before she could let that thought unfold and unleash a world of happiness and pain upon her she squashed the memory and buried it deep. Not today. Today was a day for rejoicing. She will not let her mood be dampened. No, not today she thought.

She felt a hand on her shoulder, Rhysand’s. She turned to him letting her happiness shine through. “Rhys, care to introduce the rest of the people in this room?” She didn’t want him or any of them to think of her as a broken person that they would need to tread lightly with. Her will was strong and so was her mind, she might be damaged but she was not broken, not completely. And she wanted more than anything to get back to the life she once had. Rhysand looked at her and she knew he was contemplating on whether he should do this now or later. Thankfully he chose now.

He gestured to the female at the edge of the group, a short, beautiful female with grey eyes that were almost glowing. Something about those eyes unnerved her. “This is Amren, a dear friend of mine and a member of my council” Amren, the name sounded familiar to her. Amren… The Amren?! Aedryana swallowed, hoping her face and body wasn’t giving away the terror she felt at realizing who was standing in front of her. She was told stories as a child of a terrible creature imprisoned in a faes body, a creature that would drink the blood of naughty children. That creature was called Amren.

Before Aedryana was taken she knew that Amren had chosen to become a member of the night court. And she knew Rhys was friends with her or at least an acquaintance. But she never thought that she’d have the opportunity to meet her. However here was Amren, standing in front of her with her hand outstretched looking like a sweet and harmless female, not a monster who was going to rip out her throat and suck her dry but a person who probably had her own story to tell and her own demons to battle. Aedryana was not going to judge her or be scared of her before she actually got to know the female so she took Amren’s hand in her own “It’s nice to meet you Amren.” Aedryana sent a warm smile her way before turning to the male standing next to Amren. He was a tall male with a warrior’s physique. His ocean blue eyes, moon white hair, tan skin and all the studying Aedryana had once done of the people belonging to the 7 courts of Prythian indicated he was not a citizen of the Night Court. “Are you by any chance from the Summer Court?”

“Yes, he is. This is Varian, Amren’s partner” Rhys offered from behind her. She gave Varian a bow to which he returned. She thought it wouldn’t be wise to embrace the warrior if he was Amren’s lover. While she might not know if any of those horror stories she was told as a child were true, one thing she did know was how territorial fae partners can get and she had no intention of finding out what creatures like Amren would be like.

Rhys then turned her to face the servant girl from yesterday. His entire demeanor changed as he looked upon the girl, his eyes shone with what she thought was admiration and his smile broadened or maybe she was just seeing things. “Aedryana, I’d like you to meet someone very special to me… to all of us. This is your High Lady and my mate, my wife, Feyre” Aedryana stiffened at his words that were conveyed with so much pride and adoration. She wondered if she heard correctly. The servant girl from last night was his mate… and the High Lady of the Night Court. No, that can’t be true she thought. She must have heard wrong. She definitely heard wrong “Um, What?” she asked, it was the most intelligible thing she could come up with.

“It’s a long story Aed. One of which we will tell you all about but for now this is my mate, your sister-in-law” Feyre embraced Aedryana before she could fully process any of this. “I’ve heard so much about you Aedryana. I hope we can be as close as real sisters in the future. And welcome to my home, we didn’t get to properly greet you yesterday. I hope you’re finding everything to your liking”. Feyre said as she released Aedryana from her embrace and looked to her expectantly, waiting for a reply. Aedryana’s mind was reeling. This was her brother’s wife, the newest addition to her family, and this was Fey-something’s house and now her court. She was her High Lady. Gods above, what was her brother thinking sharing the ruling of their court with this girl? This… nobody. Who is she to bare such a title? But wait… if she was High Lady that meant her brother was …High Lord.

“Where’s father?” She asked. Her heartbeat rapidly increased as she waited for a response she already suspected from her brother.

Rhysand’s expression turned grave. “Aed… father’s no longer with us… I’m sorry.” He put a hand to her shoulder. She had known his answer before he could give it but still hearing those words said out loud cut deep. “Take me to him”.

Rhysand led Aedryana from his new house to the house that they grew up in, their family home. Just when she thought her well of tears had dried up she found her eyes spilling more along the way. She tried her hardest to not bring up memories of her childhood or the last memory she had of her father as they made their way to the house. Upon reaching the front steps of her family house, her real home, her restraint broke and her eyes began to overflow with tears as all the memories of her childhood, of her parents came rushing back. The memories were so vivid she could almost see them as if they were real. She could see her parents at the front porch, fussing over her or bickering between themselves, laughing and smiling. She could see her father twirling her around when she was a child as she insisted they dance in the garden because she wanted to test out the flare of the newest dress her mother had sewn her. She then saw him frowning and scolding her years later, when she was old enough to date, for coming home too late, or for having too many male friends around. Her thoughts drifted to how she always pictured her future to be, of one day bringing her mate or would be husband home to meet her parents, the warm and welcoming smiles from her mother and the tight lipped one from her father. A sight she’ll never get to see.

Rhysand led her from the front steps to the back of the house, the garden which held 3 tombstones placed next to each other. One for her, one for their mother and one for their father. She collapsed at her father’s grave, letting it all out. Rhys rubbed her back and sent words of comfort to her until her sobs quietened and her body stopped shaking.

After some time she gathered herself up and plucked a few flowers and roses from the nearby bushes. She laid them down on both her mother’s and father’s grave. She said her final farewell and sent a silent prayer to them. Hoping the mother above had embraced her parents with open arms and let them pass through the gates into the immortal land.


	4. Chapter 4

Aedryana joined Rhysand and his guests for lunch at his mansion. It was almost like the old times, lots of laughing, and lots of drinking. They even broke out the good wine. She was on her third glass and was glad for the slight numbness it brought to her. She didn’t want to ruin the mood with the dull ache that she felt in her heart at the news of her father’s death especially when it felt so good to share such a lovely meal with people she loved and cared for, people who were very much alive and well. She would rather focus on that then dwell on the past and the dead.

She finally learnt the name of her sister-in-law no thanks to Rhysand calling her “Feyre darling” more times than she could count however she was yet to learn if this Feyre girl was worthy of her brother and of the title. She also met another member of her extended family, Elain. She was one of Feyre’s older sisters. She was a pretty female but came across as quiet and reserved. Aedryana wondered if she'd ever get along with the girl. Apparently, there was one more sister, Nesta, if she remembered correctly. From the information she gathered it seemed that Nesta had her own place and wasn't the closest with this lot since she rejected the invitation to lunch. Aedryana was curious about the tension between the sisters but she was also kind of glad that Nesta wasn’t joining them because she wasn’t sure if she wanted to meet any more people of her new family. Two was more than enough for now.  

Lunch ended too soon for her even though they had been sitting at the table for well over 3 hours. The food had been wiped out before it even reached the hour mark. The remainder of the time was spent chatting amongst themselves and taunting each other, even Azriel joined in on the fun much to everyone’s amazement. The shadowsinger was known to be the quiet one of the lot. Eventually the guests dispersed much to her disappointment, she wanted a one on one catch up sessions with Mor and her two favorite Illyrians’ but it seemed like they all had important matters to attend to. She was now left with Rhysand, Feyre and Elain, who apparently lived here as well. Elain excused herself after realizing it was just them, something about gardening.

Aedryana knew what was to come now that she was alone with them, she could see it upon her brother’s and his wife’s faces. They had let it slide through most of the day but now they wanted to know what happened all those years ago. However, she wasn’t ready to tell them the story just yet, to re-live those memories and the wounds associated to it.

She was led outside to a courtyard which opened into an incomplete garden. She spotted Elain at the barer end of the garden, hands in the soil. She was planting. She seemed so engrossed in her work that she didn’t even notice them. She also looked so content and at peace with her bare hands buried in the dirt that Aed was slightly envious of her. She never had a hobby she was truly passionate about except maybe proving to everyone she was just as good as males. She smiled at a memory that the thought brought to mind, the memory of her kicking a smug Illyrian warrior’s butt in the sparring ring. He was one of those males that thought she was unworthy of training, that her wings should be clipped and she be used for breeding purposes only. Her victory and his humiliation was one she would remember forever. Everything was so much simpler and happier back then that she longed to go back to those days, to the days where darkness and despair hadn’t touched her.

Aedryana joined Rhys and Feyre at a table set up at the start of the courtyard. A jar of fresh juice appeared at the wave of Rhys’s hand. Feyre poured a glass for each of them and then took a seat beside Rhysand. A few moments of awkward silence passed as they sipped their juice, which was surprisingly refreshing after all that wine. Aedryana knew that if she didn’t speak now and steer this conversation into another direction it was going to end up being about the incident which she was planning on telling them about, just not right now.

“So… How did you two meet?” Aedryana asked. She was genuinely curious about it and she needed to take their attention away from her so it was a perfect distraction. Rhysand and Feyre glanced at each. Something passed between them. Aedryana figured it was a silent conversation over their mating bond which she didn’t appreciate but she waited patiently for their response. “It’s a long story Aed” Rhys eventually replied, his toned implied that he had no desire to tell her the story at this very moment.

“And I’ve got all the time in the world brother. Come on tell me about this epic love story. And what’s been going on for the past centuries. I have a lot of catching up to do.” She gave Rhysand her most pleading look she could muster. Rhysand’s expression slackened and she knew she won this little battle.

Rhysand started with the story that led up to how he met Feyre. About 50 years ago a woman named Amarantha became an unwanted Queen of Prythian by tricking the 7 high lords and stealing their power. As the story progressed Aedryana felt herself wanting to vomit from the horrors of what her brother had to do to keep their city safe. The monster he had to paint himself as. The parts of his soul that he’d never get back because of that witch! Aedryana’s body started to tremble with anger as his story continued. She wanted to rip that woman’s throat out with her bare teeth for what she made her brother do and for what he endured. No, a swift death would be too kind for her she thought, she wanted to strap her down and carve her out piece by piece whilst keeping her alive and awake. She wanted to repay her 1000-fold for what she did to Rhysand, to Prythian.

Aedryana felt a cool hand on her knee. She looked up to see it belonged to Rhysand. The look on this face reassured her that it gets better, that it all worked out in the end. She let her anger seep out of her slowly.

Feyre then took over the story from Rhysand. She started with the story of her life before she came to Prythian. She was human. Aedryana was shocked by this revelation. Her brother’s wife was human, but that’s not possible, she’s clearly fae, she thought.

Feyre continued and spoke of a male from the Spring Court that took her to Prythian to serve out the remainder of her life as repayment for killing a faerie. A disdainful look fell upon Feyre’s face as she described that over time she fell in love with this male, Tamlin.

Aedryana’s heart stopped at the mention of his name. The name she hadn’t heard in centuries, the name she refused to say out loud, the name that held all her happiness and heartache. It couldn’t be she thought. There are plenty Tamlin’s out there. This wasn’t, this couldn’t be _her_ Tamlin.

Feyre then spoke of how she saved them and broke the curse that Amarantha held over the Spring Court and the High Lords powers. How she died and was remade as fae.

Aedryana heard the story but was not quite listening for her mind was stuck on one word, a name; Tamlin. Her attention was brought back to the story when she heard his name spoken once more, this time dripping with venom and hate. Feyre described the male, Tamlin, as an abusive person, he had hurt her physically and mentally, and she was to marry this male. Until Rhysand, her mate, saved her and took her to the Night Court which ultimately led to Tamlin aligning himself with Hybern to get her back. Aedryana couldn’t take any more of this story until she confirmed who this Tamlin was.

“By any chance, is this the High Lord of the Spring Court’s son you speak of?” She addressed Feyre. Her voice was soft, almost to herself. It was as if she didn’t want Feyre to hear the question because she was afraid of the answer.

“Yes Aed, it’s the same Tamlin” Rhysand spat “Only now he’s taken up his father’s position as High Lord”

Aedryana’s world spun, it was her Tamlin. She could almost hear her heart breaking as she realised that her Tamlin did move on, he did find love and he almost married her. This woman sitting in front of her was almost his wife… She was also the one who left him.

Feyre’s story sure did paint him as a monster but Aedryana knew him. She knew how fiercely he loved and how much his heart must have broken when Feyre left him. She looked at Feyre with disgust in her eyes. All she could see was a girl who let his fears consume him, eat him up, for Aedryana couldn’t begin to understand the horrors he must have faced whilst under the mountain, watching the one he loved get hurt and being unable to do anything for fear of Amarantha unleashing even more horrors upon the girl he loved, for seeing her die. And then remade only to have her bound to an evil High Lord that Rhysand had let them believe he was. The horrors that must have passed through his mind of what his soon to be wife might have had to endure whilst in the enemy’s lair that his only option was to seek out his father’s ally that he hated with all his being to help him.

No, Aedryana didn’t see a monster. She saw the man she loved willing to burn the world to get back the woman _he_ loved. She couldn’t help but feel devastated and hurt that he would go to such lengths for someone who willingly left him, for someone she couldn’t believe truly cared for him. And yet she had been held prisoner in a house for centuries without so much of a whisper of him. Maybe all those feelings she felt were all one sided. Or maybe he did love her once but it wasn’t as strong as what she felt for him. It wasn’t as strong as what he felt for Feyre. Her eyes started to burn from all the thoughts swimming through her mind. She couldn’t sit here and listen to any more of this story. She needed to get away.

“I need a minute. Can we pick this up tomorrow perhaps?” Aedryana didn’t wait for a reply as she walked as fast as she could back to her bedroom. She shut her door and in the privacy of her room she let her tears falls.

She stayed in her room for the rest of the evening. She even took her supper in there. She let her mind come up with horrible reasons as to why he didn’t look for her, why he had forgotten about her. Why he loved Feyre so much. Which then lead to her comparing herself to Feyre, maybe she wasn’t good enough, pretty enough, powerful enough. Maybe Feyre had been everything he wanted in a partner whilst she had just been… available. Maybe that’s why he dated her, because she was just… there. She didn’t even bother coming up with counter arguments, she just let herself wallow in her self-pity.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I know a lot of people don't like Tamlin and don't like it when people make up "excuses" for his behavior. Please bare in mind that this is my take on his character, and from Aedryana's point of view the Tamlin Feyre has described is nothing like the male she once knew.


	5. Chapter 5

A few days had passed and Aedryana continued her downward spiral of self-hate, she allowed herself to drown in the sadness that stemmed from knowing that the male she loved with all her heart hadn’t loved her back, he’d forgotten about her, he had moved on. Her brother and a few others had tried talking to her, tried to get her to go outside. Nobody could understand why her mood had changed so drastically for none of them knew about her romance with Rhysand’s budding friend. They couldn’t understand the hurt and devastation she felt after loving and pining for him for centuries only for him to not give a damn about her.

~~

After many failed attempts at conversation and getting his sister to leave her room Rhysand resorted to using his daemati gifts to pry information from Aedryana. He was worried about her. The day after he rescued her she was in high spirits, she was happy to be back and had almost returned to the person she was before being taken. But whilst telling her the story of how he found his beloved Feyre her mood had changed. He had been stupid to tell her the story. He knew he shouldn’t have, even Feyre told him not to albeit for different reasons but the curious and pleading look in Aed’s eyes had him caving. He could never deny her anything, especially now that he just got her back. But that was still not a good enough reason he reminded himself. He knew that story led to speaking about that bastard Tamlin. His temper rose just thinking of that male. Oh, how he’d love to shred Tamlin to pieces for what he and his family did to Aed and their mother. For the past few days he’d been thinking of doing it, of walking into Spring and ripping Tamlin’s head off and then turning the Spring manor Tamlin's corpse into dust. The thought of Aed was what stopped him from doing it. That was her kill, she deserved to have her revenge and he’d be by her side the whole way through. But now seeing how withdrawn and closed off she’d gotten from just hearing his name, he didn’t know if his little sister could handle actually meeting Tamlin, let alone taking her revenge. He hated the amount of injustice done to his family and his wife by one fae bastard.

He needed to know what exactly made her so withdrawn, what scared her, what happened all those years ago. If he knew then he could help her get over this. He knew he shouldn’t be invading her mind but he couldn’t help it. He convinced himself that it was so for her own safety, so that she wouldn’t fall into a deep dark pit that she’ll never be able to climb out of.

He sent a tendril of his power into her mind. The power took form as talons and met the cool steel walls of Aedryana’s mind. He let his talons roam, gently scraping along the wall’s surface looking for weak spots, a way in. He was careful to tread lightly in case she realized what he was doing before he could glean any information. He had barely begun his search before he heard the snarling from the figure beside him. He glanced at his sister whose teeth were now bared. Oh she was pissed. Before he could even withdraw his talons and explain himself, he found himself flying, straight out the door.

~~

From the time they knew how to wield their daemati power their mother taught them that invading a person’s mind without permission is wrong and is thoroughly frowned upon. The power should only be used without permission if a person’s life depended on it. She respected Rhysand enough to never invade his mind unless it was during practice sessions. And he had vowed to do the same so when Aedryana found familiar talons scraping along the steel walls she had built she was furious. Without much thought or warning she kicked him out of her room, literally kicked him. She hadn’t meant to use such force that he flew out and hit the wall outside her bedroom door with a thud. Cracks had appeared on the surface of the wall upon Rhysand's impact. She looked from the wall to her brother who lay slumped on the floor. She hadn’t used physical force in a very long time and had forgotten her own strength. She willed her face to form a scowl instead of the stunned expression at what she had done. She then shut the door before Rhys could even comprehend what had just happened.

A heartbeat later she heard her brother knocking on the door “Aed, I’m sorry… But you left me with no choice since you won’t even speak to me or Feyre or even Elain. We can’t help you if we don’t know what the problem is” His words made her forget that she was feeling bad and apologetic for kicking him. She approached her bedroom door and swung it open with such a force that she thought it might come off its hinges, but it didn’t, it held. “I don’t need your help Rhysand” she said in steady voice that had a bite to it. “You’ve done enough by rescuing me. This is me in all my broken glory and I get that you don’t like it, this isn’t the Aed you’re used to. But please respect me and my space. What you did just now…” She didn’t bother continuing for the look she saw in his eyes were not one of regret. He didn’t regret the attempt to invade her inner most private thoughts. No that look said he’d do it again and again if it meant he’d get the old Aed back. She stepped away from the door and shut it once more.

Aedryana’s encounter with Rhysand left her fuming. She hated how her temper rose so easily, even though he deserved every bit of her anger for invading her mind without permission. Her temper however had always been an issue from the time she was young and once it started it raged. Only a few select people could calm her down and one of them was Rhysand and another was Tamlin. The thought of both of them just made her even more pissed off. She started pacing in her room, back and forth and back and forth trying to calm herself down but it wasn’t helping at all. She needed a release and she wasn’t going to get it in this room. She snorted as she realized that her brother’s attempt at getting her to go outside actually worked, not in the way he wanted it to but it worked. She left her room and the mansion, ignoring the wide eyed stares from the help around the house. Once she was a safe distance away from boundary that the wards created she winnowed away. She hoped that the spot she thought of was still in existence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Rhysand has no clue on whats going on in Aed's mind. He thinks it's Tamlin - I mean it is, just not in the way he thinks. 
> 
> I think Rhys was so wrong to use his daemati powers on Aed. I was never a fan of this power, I mean it's really cool to be able to see someones thoughts and be able to shatter their mind without much effort but its just so invasive and in the hands of the wrong person it can be so dangerous. 
> 
> Any idea on where she'd go to for a release?


	6. Chapter 6

Thankfully the training grounds hadn’t changed nor moved after all these years. She heard the generals strong and deep voice barking orders before she actually spotted him. He was amongst a few warriors who were sparring. As he circled the outside of the sparring ring his ruby red siphons caught the sunlight and shone brightly. He was carefully inspecting their fighting techniques and advising on what needed to change in order to be more effective. 

“Cassian” Aedryana yelled from her spot close to the barracks. Cassian’s eyes widened as he realized who had called him. She figured she was the last person he expected to see, Rhysand must have told him about the situation. Cassian’s features were quickly schooled into neutrality as he approached her.

“Aed, come to kick some butt?” he asked, a wolfish smile spreading across his face.

“I’ve come for exactly that! Spar with me Cass, give your warriors a break for once” she motioned to the set of warriors going at it.

“Right now?” he enquired. “Yep, right now” Aedryana replied hoping he wouldn’t shoot down her offer.

“Hmm” He gave her a once over “Why don’t you fetch some leathers and steel from the barracks. They should have your size since Feyre’s been training with us”

The mention of Feyre‘s name had Aedryana’s temper rising further. Feyre was one of the reasons for her self-loathing. The reason she doubted the love she once believed to be true. This is good she thought to herself. The higher my temper rises the better this release will be.

“Are you scared of getting your ass handed to you by a girl in a dress?” it was her turn to spread a wolfish grin across her face.

Cassian threw his head back and laughed “Fine, it’s your choice if you don’t want the leathers. Go grab some steel and let’s get this this match on the way”

Aedryana made her way into the barracks. The place was packed with an assortment of weapons ranging from daggers to swords to axes. All made from the finest Illyrian steel. When it came to matters of war and fighting, Illyria boasted some of the toughest and fiercest warriors Prythian had ever seen. These warriors were armed with the best steel and armor money could buy. Even though Aedryana was only half Illyrian, she was proud that she shared some of her heritage with this mighty race.

She made her way to the cabinet that held an array of swords. She was never an axe fan though swords and daggers, those she loved. She dismissed the daggers since this wasn’t a real fight in which she would need to use them even though they could be used to her advantage. She decided a fair fight would be best. She eyed the twin blades, that was her favorite weapon to wield however Cass would only be using his singular sword so she moved away from those and inspected the collection of double edged swords. She chose one that was without fancy markings and jewels; it had a plain hilt and was as light as a feather. She gave her sword a few swings, testing out it out. It was perfect for agility.

She made her way outside to find Cassian armed and waiting in an empty sparring ring. “Are you going to make me wait all day Princess?” Cassian yelled. A playful smile tugged at his lips. Aedryana scowled at him but made her way as swiftly as she could to the sparring ring. Let the fun begin she thought.

They began circling each other as she entered the ring, both of their swords was out. They began contemplating each other’s moves and thinking of the best method of attack. Cassian attacked first going for her left side that was open. She anticipated this and side stepped before the blow could land. Without missing a beat she lunged for him but her blade met the empty air. He had moved so quickly her eyes hadn’t even caught the movement. The next thing she knew she was laying on the floor, her face in the dirt. Cassian had kicked her from behind “The years have made you slow Aed” Cassian commented and waited for her to get back up. Aedryana grunted and wasted no time getting up from the dirt floor. She paid no attention to the burning that had started in her arms from the fall; the rough gravel floor of the training grounds had left a bunch of cuts along her skin. Once up she attacked. Steel met steel and their dance began.

A few minutes in and Aedryana was already panting, her form was terrible and she hated how Cassian was holding back for her sake. Her execution of the fighting techniques she knew was pathetic. She could remember all of the maneuvers and tactics but her execution was too slow, and the damn dress kept getting in her way. She should have just taken the leathers. This was supposed to be a release but her lacking form was just making her mood worsen. “Looks like someone hasn’t been practicing” Cassian said as his blade came up to her throat ending the match that had barely begun.

Aedryana, who was still huffing, forced her lips into a thin line as Cassian withdrew his blade. “Again” she insisted. Cassian sighed as he responded. “Aed, I’m gonna be straight with you. You’re out of shape and your form is terrible. And I think you know this too. I don’t mind training you but we got to start from the beginning, we can’t just spar like old times.” Cassian was never one to beat around the bush and she loved him for that but what she hated right now was the way he looked at her, there was pity in those hazel eyes. He knew she was going through a rough time and he wanted to help however mindless sparing wasn’t the way. Though, Aed didn’t want to train, not yet at least. She just wanted a good fight and some release but that obviously wasn’t going to happen since she was as useless as newbie. Defeated, she dropped her sword and turned away from Cassian only to meet the cold, blue gray eyes of Feyre. Great!

Feyre stood just outside the sparring ring, her hair was pulled back into a ponytail causing her features to appear sharp, she was wearing the leathers that Aedryana had foregone. Besides the leathers making her look incredibly sexy, she also looked like every bit the fierce warrior that Aedryana wasn’t. She hated it. She hated all of it. And most of all she hated that Feyre of all people had witnessed her embarrassing performance against Cassian.

The ends of Cassian’s lips tugged upwards as he approached Feyre, Aedryana realized that they were friends. She had the sudden urge to pull Feyre's perfectly groomed hair out like a hormonal teenager.  Embracing Feyre Cassian said “You’re early for training”. “I figured I could use the extra time to practice with daggers. I didn’t know I was going to stumble on such an interesting match. Don’t be disheartened Aed, Cassian is a tough one to beat” Feyre smirked at Aedryana as she entered the ring. Aedryana hated the way Feyre had called her Aed like they were familiar enough for her to use it. “You up for another match Cass?” Feyre asked. Cassian who hadn’t even broken into a sweat agreed. Aedryana paid no more attention to the two of them as she made her way out of the training grounds. She hadn’t gotten far before she saw the familiar steel slide in front of her “Aed, don’t forget your sword” Feyre yelled. Scowling, Aedryana picked up her sword and made her way to the barracks.

She returned the sword to the place she took it from. What was she thinking sparring with Cassian? It had been too long since she last fought. She was foolish to think she even had a chance against him. And worst of all Feyre had been there. Could this day get any better she thought? Feeling more frustrated then when she came here she decided to winnow to another spot she hoped still stood.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aed's just not having a good day is she? First Rhysand's intrusiveness and now her dismal performance with Cassian - and Feyre caught everything, ugh.   
> I liked how she wanted this to be a fair fight, that she seriously thought she could take on Cassian. Once upon a time she could have but not now - she hasn't lifted a sword in centuries. Fighting isn't exactly like riding a bike, cant just pick up where you left off. Poor thing. 
> 
> Cassian ❤❤❤ Love this boy so much. He is by far my favorite Illyarian ❤ Who is yours?


	7. Chapter 7

Aedryana stood in front of a large mahogany door that was decorated with elaborate patterns carved into the wood. She was relieved to see it still existed. She knew she was being reckless with her winnowing, she could have landed in the middle of a collapsed building but she didn’t care. She rapped on the door and waited for an answer. After a few minutes the large door creaked opened.

“By the Gods, you look like crap” The familiar blonde had looked her up and down taking in her dirtied dress, scuffed arms and out of place hair. “Hello to you too, cousin” Aedryana pushed passed her cousin and entered the rooftop loft. The place was exactly like she remembered. A smile tugged at her lips. She liked how Mors’s taste hadn’t changed one bit over the centuries.

“What happened?” Mor demanded. She was standing in front of Aedryana picking at her hair, then inspecting the cuts on her arm. “It’s a long story and I don’t feel like getting into it right now. What I need is a long, hot bath and…” Aedryana made her way to the kitchen, swiped a glass and a bottle of wine “This” she waved the bottled. Mor frowned at her but didn’t object. Instead she made her way to her bedroom, returning a few minutes later with towels, a robe, slippers and a vial of green liquid. “Add this to the bath, it will help with the cuts” she handed Aed the stuff. “And save some wine for me”.

Aedryana entered the large bathroom, the walls and floors were covered with white marble accented by pieces of blood red accessories. The tub was already filled and hot judging by the steam rising out of it. Aedryana dumped the contents of the vial into the bath water, stripped out of her dirty dress and eased herself into the tub. She hissed as the hot water caused the cuts to burn but the pain was quickly subsiding as the ointment started to work its magic. The tension from her body began to melt away as she rested her head against the tub. She tried to empty her mind from all awful thoughts and the events of the day. When that wasn’t really working for her she poured herself a glass of wine and then another.

A long while later Aedryana joined her cousin on the couch. “Ready to talk?” Mor asked. “Nope”. “I haven’t told Rhys that you’re here if you were wondering”. Aedryana turned to Mor “Thank you” she was grateful for that. The last thing she needed was Rhys showing up and forcing her to talk or invading her mind. She was even more grateful when Mor didn’t push on the topic. They sat in comfortable silence for a while. Being in a new or rather a different place was actually good for her. She needed this. The bath had eventually helped calm her down and the change of scenery helped clear her mind. She realized that the past isn’t what she should be focusing on. What happened with Tamlin has happened and she can’t change any of that. But what she can control and change is her future. It’s time to move on. It’s time to explore Velaris, make new friends, meet new people and rebuild her life. An idea came to mind.

“Ritas!” Aedryana shouted, breaking the silence. “What?” Mor was slightly startled by the noise. “Tonight, I want to have some fun. Are you up for a girl’s night out? Let’s go to Rita’s?” Aed knew that if Mor was anything like she remembered she wouldn’t object, she had loved partying and being out and about, just having a good time. Turns out Aed was correct, Mor hadn’t even paused to think about the suggestion when she agreed to it.

“I was thinking, what if we invite Amren?” Aed asked Mor. She had been curious about the female. She wanted to get to know her and form another opinion of her besides the blood thirsty creature that was drilled into her mind. Mor broke out into a fit of laughter. Once she calmed down she replied “I would pay to see Amren in Rita’s” Mor began laughing again as she tried to picture the short female partying away in Rita’s. “Was the suggestion that bad?” Aed asked, baffled by Mor’s reaction. “Amren isn’t exactly the type you let down your hair down with. No harm in trying though. I could go with you to ask her” Mor’s smile turned mischievous. “Uhm, it’s ok. Perhaps another time” Aed figured Mor just wanted to witness Amren unleash her wrath upon them for implying that she’d be the type to go to a nightclub for fun.

The pair made their way to Mor’s closet, which was bigger than Aedryana’s room. “So, what’s our concept for tonight, are we going to be sipping on cocktails in a corner booth or dancing until the sun comes up or…” Another mischievous grin spread across Mor’s face. “All of the above” Aedryana excitedly answered before Mor could finish. “Perfect!” Mor rummaged through her closet and came back with two dresses she deemed were perfect for tonight.

Mor tried on hers first, checking to see if it is as good as she envisioned and what accessories and shoes would go best. Aedryana’s jaw dropped at the sight of her cousin, dressed in her signature red, she looked absolutely ravishing. The dress left little to the imagination, skin tight and short. “If that doesn’t get all the girls tongues wagging then I don’t know what would!” Aedryana confessed, still gawking at her incredibly sexy cousin. Mor had stiffened at her comment. “What did you say?”. “I’ve always known Mor. It doesn’t make any difference to me.” Aedryana thought Mor’s sexual preference was quite obvious from a young age, she was surprised that nobody else seemed to figure it out, especially the two Illyrian’s, however those boys were too busy being in love with her to actually see it. “I think these shoes would go best with it, don’t you think so” Aedryana handed a nude stiletto to Mor. She could see that Mor was uncomfortable with the subject they had broached and tried to steer away. She then picked up her dress and went to change.

Aedryana’s dress was even more scandalous than Mor’s. It was black, short as well, accentuating her long legs. There was a slit on the left side that went all the way up to her hip bone, dainty metallic chains held the two pieces of material together. The top of the dress was low cut exposing a large portion of her full breasts. Oh, she was definitely making “friends” tonight she thought. 

The two of them made their way to Rita’s. Mor’s elite status helped them with bypassing the long queue. The inside of Rita’s was massive. There were 4 dance floors, each boasting a different vibe. All floors had the same opulence running through it. The girls made their way to the bar area. Propping themselves on the bar stools, they ordered a round of shots to start off the night followed by a cocktail to keep them company whilst they scanned the area for any potentials for the evening.

Aedryana found quite a few handsome males to her liking. All of them were dark haired, she skipped the blondes purposely. Once she and Mor had enough to drink, enough to get her to approach one of these handsome males, they made their way to the dancefloor.

The dancefloor was packed with males and females who had either lost themselves to the trance of the music or to the bodies around them. If one wanted to see the night court in all their sexy glory but also wanted to avoid the brutality of the Hewn City then they would come here. Besides all the grinding that was taking place between the opposite sexes, there was also same sex action. Everyone here was free to do as they liked with no judgement. There were dance floors, opium bars, private rooms, and even orgy parties. However tonight the girls decided to keep it fairly decent and stuck to the dancefloors.

Aedryana and Mor had started off dancing together but were quickly broken apart as others joined them. A dark haired male that Aed had been eyeing made his way towards her. He was a towering male with muscles to match. Aed’s gaze was stripping off that useless piece of material that was covering his upper body. She could picture his rock hard abs and pecks. She wanted to run her tongue all over him.  He began dancing and in no time Aed found her hands running up the length of his torso as she swayed to the music. She rested them on his chest as his hands found their way to her hips and tugged her towards him. His body was flush against hers. His leg had slid between hers and the sensation of having him so close, of feeling him on her thigh was sending jolts of pleasure to her core. It had been so long since she’d been with a male. Imagining and pleasuring herself could never come close to having physical contact with one. As they began moving, as his leg began rubbing against her core she could feel her arousal building. The scent of her sexual desire coupling with his turned her on even more. She tipped her head back as she rode his thigh, her leg rubbing against his hardness at the same time. She felt his arms wrap tighter around her whilst his lips found the sweet spot on her neck, her eyes instinctively closed at the blissful feeling. She was so close to her release. She wanted him to grind harder on her but the male pulled back instead and her eyes reopened to find another face staring back at her, panting. Aedryana had gone deathly still as she looked upon that familiar face. She wasn’t sure she if she was even breathing anymore. The male’s lips captured hers and gods she wanted to kiss him back but those lips felt different, wrong, they didn’t taste like him. She immediately pulled back and the handsome male had confusion written all over his face. She shook her head and looked upon him again. The golden blonde hair that ran past his shoulders, the emerald green eyes that was a blend of every forest she’d seen and the lips that had kissed her a thousand times yet she still craved for more were gone. Just the tanned male with short dark hair and muscles for days stood in his place. Did she just dream that up, is her mind playing tricks with her she wondered. She muttered an apology to the male which she doubted he heard over the loud music and made her way back to the bar.

She gulped down a glass of water and tried to clear her head. It was evident that all her thoughts of Tamlin for the past few days were now manifesting into her hallucinating that he was here. She ordered another glass of water, this time sipping on it slowly. She felt herself calm down. She looked around and saw that everyone was looking foreign, as it should be. Tamlin wasn’t here. Convinced that it was all in her head she decided to join the dance floor once more.

Not two songs in and she found a strong male’s arm snaking across her abdomen. She turned in his embrace and saw the familiar blonde staring back at her, a smirk upon his face. Her breath hitched at the sight of him. How many times was her heart going to stop in one night she wondered as she closed her eyes and counted to five. When she reopened her eyes the blonde male was still there but his features changed, his lips were thinner, eyes smaller, he looked nothing like Tamlin. A wave of relief and, if she cared to admit it, disappointment washed over her. She moved out of his embrace and stepped off the dancefloor. She scanned the area for Mor. She couldn’t stay here any longer else she was going to lose her mind. She spotted Mor intertwined with two girls. They looked so lost in the music and each other’s body that she couldn’t bring herself to break Mor away from that. So she left instead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone was wondering what Aedryana looks like since I haven't fully described her, this is how she looks to me:  
> \- She's tall, legs for days  
> \- She has a slim figure but still has assets lol full breasts, decent ass  
> \- Shes's pale - I'd like to say genetically pale as in Rhysand inherited his mother's darker skin tone whilst Aed took after her father's lighter skin tone. There's also the fact that she was locked away so she didn't receive much sunlight there making her skin sort of like a milky white texture  
> \- She has long raven black hair.   
> \- Violet eyes just like Rhysand  
> \- Full pink lips  
> \- She does have Illyrian wings however most of the time she has it glamoured to look like its not there, just like how Rhysand does it.
> 
> Also just to clear up the dancefloor scene if anyone got confused (I wasn't sure if what I wrote made sense or explained it clearly enough):  
> Aed was dancing with a dark haired boy, she had closed her eyes and reopened them to find Tamlin staring at her. He started to kiss her but he didnt taste or feel like Tam, after clearing her head she realized she was only seeing things that it was the dark haired boy all along.


	8. Chapter 8

At 2am the streets of Velaris was still very much alive. The restaurants lining the streets were overflowing with different types of fae mingling and eating together. Under lampposts painters and musicians could be found entertaining small groups of males and females that had surrounded them. Kids were zipping around the crowds of people playing catch. Even clothing and jewelry stores were full to the brim at this hour. Though, none of this surprised Aedryana. The streets were exactly like how she remembered them. It made her realize just how much she missed this city, her city. Silver began to line her eyes which she quickly blinked away. The only difference was that back then the people recognized her as the High Lord’s daughter. They would always greet her or give her flowers whenever she’d walk the streets. But now she was invisible to them, it was as if her existence had been erased from their minds. She couldn’t help the pang of pain and disappointment she felt over this. She didn’t crave their love or attention; it was the feeling of being forgotten that hurt. As she continued down the jovial street she thought that maybe her invisibility is a good thing. It gives her a fresh start. A chance to be somebody new, somebody better.

The high humidity of the night made Aedryana stop at an ice cream stall that caught her attention. The stall boasted a sign that read “Ice Cream straight from the Winter Court”. The Winter Court was known to be the home of the most delicious ice cream in all of Prythian. Aed had confirmed this when she had tagged along with her father to a high lords meeting that was held at the Winter Court. She and Rhysand had frozen their ass off but claimed that they’d risk a frozen butt again if they could get a taste of that ice cream. Ever since that day their father decided to add ice cream to the list of goods they imported to the city via the sea that bordered Velaris.

The sign on the stall made Aedryana a little giddy with excitement as she ordered her favorite flavor, chocolate chip. If her brother was here he would argue that cookies and cream was by far a superior flavor. To which she would have rolled her eyes and debated otherwise. She missed their playful banter, she missed her brother. She wondered if she had been too harsh on him these last few days. His intrusiveness wasn’t excusable however if she were to put herself in his shoes she understood why he was being the way he was.

She continued down the path that led to Rhysand’s house, licking her delicious ice cream. She decided that if she wanted to have the closeness with her brother that she once had, she was going to have to forgive him and open up to him. Besides the need to reform the bond with her brother, she also needed someone to confide in else she was going to lose her mind. Though, if the club was any indication, she had already lost it since not even an hour ago she had hallucinated that Tamlin was there on multiple occasions.

She finally arrived at the mansion. The lack of noise indicated that everyone was asleep. She stealthily made her way up the stairs to her bedroom. She enjoyed a steaming hot bath and then crept into her comfy bed. Sleep came to her easily after a long time. She felt like some part of her snapped back into place. The time she spent with Cassian and Mor and even walking the streets of Velaris helped make that possible. Although the day hadn’t been the most pleasant it allowed her to get perspective on a few things and it made her realize what the next steps were in order for her to become a fraction of the person that she was. She now knew that Cassian was still the friend that she knew but he was stronger and wiser and still brutally honest. He was willing to help her get back to the form that she once was, and maybe even help her become better. She knew that Mor hadn’t changed one bit. She was still the girl that Aed could go to with her daily drama or to just let her hair down and have a little fun. And she loved how much the city hadn’t changed. It brought about stability to her life that didn’t know she needed. So even though her love life was still a mess, there were other aspects of her life that were finally taking shape. She was glad and happy for all of that and slept like a baby.

Aedryana’s sleep broke at dawn. It was the best sleep she’d had in years. She wanted to continue sleeping for the entire day however last night she made a resolution to be more forthcoming with her brother. So the new day symbolized a new start for her. She wanted to show them a different side to her other than the stubborn girl they had been seeing. So she got out of bed and had a quick bath before making her way down to the kitchen.

The kitchen staff had been shocked to say the least, they all refused to have her help them but once she saw Elain working with Nuala and Cerridwen, her case had been won and she was allowed to stay. In all her years held captive she had mastered the art of making pancakes. She made a stack of thick fluffy pancakes and a bowl of chocolate syrup. She then proceeded to make chocolate chip croissants. When she was finally done and happy with what she made she noticed that the rest of the staff had completed all the meat dishes thus completing the breakfast spread.

As she made her way to the dining room table to lay out her pancakes and croissants she noticed a sleepy Rhysand and Feyre were already seated. Aedryana felt a tendril of anger rising within her at the thought of having to serve Feyre, her _high lady_. She pushed aside that feeling as she remembered it’s a new day and a new beginning. She looked to Rhysand who was now gawking at her. All traces of sleepiness were completely gone.

“Aed?” he asked in confusion as his eyes darted back and forth from her to the dishes in her hands. “Who are you and what have you done with my sister?” he asked as he made a dramatic display of rubbing his eyes and re-looking at her. Aedryana rolled her eyes even though a smile had crept onto her face. She placed the dishes in the center of the table, when she returned to her standing position her expression turned solemn.

“Rhysand I’ve realized that as a guest my attitude over the past few weeks hasn’t been very pleasant and I’d like it if we can erase my past actions and start afresh. So I thought I’d start it off by showing a different side of me and making some pancakes and croissants as an apology and peace offering. I swear to the mother that it’s edible, tasty even” Rhysand still looked baffled “I think I need to check with Tarquin to see if the Summer Court has frozen over if you’re cooking in the kitchen!” he said, amusement lacing his voice. She stuck her tongue out at him and took a seat opposite Rhys and next to Elain. “And Aed, we understand that all of this new and overwhelming to you. It’s going to take time to get into the swing of things. I’m sorry for the way I’ve pushed you, I’ve realized that the way I handled the situation was not fair to you and I’m so sorry for that. If you need time to yourself I promise I will not try to invade your privacy the way I did before. I just want you to know that I never meant to hurt or upset you little sis” Rhysand sincerity could be heard as he spoke “Thank you Rhysand” Aedryana was glad that her brother realized that his actions were wrong, it made this new beginning easier to achieve. 

“And by the way you should know better than to call yourself a guest. You’re family. This is as much your house as it is mine” Feyre bristled at his comment but didn’t say anything. “I knew you’d say that but you guys” she motioned to Rhysand and Feyre “are newly married, you need your space and I’m sure one day this house will be filled with the pitter, patter of little feet. So I don’t want to invade your space. Besides you know I’ve always wanted my own place”. “Yes I remember all about your dream of a penthouse apartment just like Mor’s but there’s no rush to move anywhere, I want to spend as much time with you as I can.” Rhysand’s hand reached across the table to grasp Aedryana’s hand “I’ve missed you more than anything Aed and I’m not letting you go anytime soon. All those years without you and mama, thinking you were dead’ Rhysand’s voice cracked as he said those words, he took a minute to compose himself before he continued “I love you Aedryana, I don’t think I’ve said those words enough times to you. So whether you like it or not, you’re stuck with me little sis for a long, long time” Rhysand’s words had Aed feeling emotional, she could feel the sting in her eyes telling her tears were going to take over soon. “I missed you and I love you too Rhysie” She blinked away her tears before they could fall. Rhysand ran his fingers along the back of Aed’s hand a few times before letting go and intertwining his fingers with Feyre’s. He straightened up in his chair and addressed both Aedryana and Elain. “I’m so glad for this new beginning and that both of you are here today since Feyre and I have some exciting news that we would like to share” Aedryana had never seen Rhysand smile the way he did, it was just pure undiluted happiness and joy that was shown on his face as he conveyed his next words “Feyre and I are having a baby”.


	9. Chapter 9

Aedryana’s heart dropped at this news but quickly recovered herself and willed her excitement to shine through “By the cauldron!” she exclaimed as she dashed over to Rhysand and hugged him. “I’m so happy for you Rhysand” Aedryana let out a squeal as she hugged her brother again and then cautiously went over to Feyre as Elain backed out of her sister’s embrace and made her way to Rhysand. “Congratulations Feyre” Aedryana awkwardly hugged Feyre and went back to her seat. Her dislike for the female was temporarily halted at the news of a baby. She hoped that her dislike could be permanently halted since they were all starting anew but she knew she’d just be lying to herself if she thought that way.

Elain and Aed were beaming at the news of them becoming aunts. “Do we know if it’s a boy or a girl as yet?” Elain asked as she took a seat. “It’s too early to tell, she’s only a few weeks pregnant.” Rhysand replied as he put his arm around Feyre’s shoulder and looked at her with so much love and adoration that Aed felt a pang of jealousy, she wanted to have what they have “You know it’s never too early to start thinking of names, I have a great suggestion if it’s a girl. How about Aedryana – brilliant, isn’t it?” Aedryana supplied to which they all laughed. The remainder of the breakfast continued that way with laughs and smiles. Everyone was excited at the news of the baby. Aedryana felt like this news was a blessing in more than one way. It made her feel like she really could start anew with them.

Shortly after breakfast Aedryana made her way to the Temple of Night that was located on the opposite end of Velaris. The trek by foot took over an hour. Her skin was slick with sweat. Tiredness had started to set in her bones. By the gods she was out of shape she thought. She would have gotten here in less than half the time if she used her wings but as she stood on the ledge of her bedroom window a fear like the very first time she tried to fly enveloped her and she just couldn’t take the leap. She also couldn’t winnow to the temple, it was considered blasphemous to do so. One is meant to make the journey by foot or by wings, the time is supposed to be used as introspection into your life and of the reasons you were visiting the temple to ensure that your prayers to the mother still had the same conviction you did when you first decided to make the trek.

As she entered age old temple huffing and puffing she made a mental note to inform Cass that she’s going to take up his offer to start training. The temple was airy, made up of 5 columns of rocks that held up a domed roof. Multiple depictions of the mother, the cauldron and the night full of stars were carved into the ceiling and floor. It was hallowed ground. Every court had spots within it that were considered to be closer to the mother, the spot where your prayers would be heard most clearly.

Aedryana was relieved to see that the temple was empty save for the high priestess that presided over the place. The priestess asked if she needed help with anything or if she needed blessings, Aedryana waved her off and made her way to the center of the temple. She sat cross legged on the floor, closed her eyes and began her prayer to the mother.

The news of Rhysand’s child, her precious niece or nephew that was still in the womb sparked this journey. She knew, from personal experience, how much joy and pain a child can bring to one’s life and she wished to spare her brother of any type of sadness and sorrow that this child could bring. After everything her brother had been through she wished for him only happiness. She prayed with all her heart that no harm ever befalls the child, that he or she grow up with all the love that one can receive and live for centuries and centuries. That no more tragedy or death befalls her brother for he has endured enough. She vowed to do anything in her power to protect this child. She admitted to herself that her prayers were a little selfish, as much as she wished for her brother’s and his child’s happiness, she also wished for hers. She wasn’t sure if her heart could handle another death.

Her prayers for this unborn child brought about memories she wished would stay buried. Flashes of a little boy running around her room and jumping on her bed. Her heart contracted at this burst of memory. She had suppressed these memories for so long, locked them away in the vault of her mind so that she could be strong and survive her captivity. So many happy and sad memories were stuffed into the vault that the vault door couldn’t handle it anymore and burst open. She couldn’t keep these memories bottled up any longer. More recollections of a time long passed sprang free, one of her braiding little sections of the boys golden blonde hair which had grown past his shoulder. One of big fat tears escaping his beautiful green eyes when he jammed his tiny finger in the door. Her precious baby boy. Her dead baby boy. Her body shuddered violently at these thoughts as her eyes overflowed with tears. She felt like her heart was being stabbed over and over and over and she could do nothing to stop it just as she could do nothing to save her son. It was her fault, everything was her fault.

She doubled over on the temple floor as she wept for everything that she loved and lost. The priestess rushed over to her and rubbed her back. She asked if there was anything she could do to ease Aedryana’s pain. Aed, who hadn't heard or felt the priestess, continued crying, heavy sobs wracked her body. Her thoughts had refused to seize. Memory after memory came rushing back until she recalled every painful detail.

Once the vault emptied itself she had a chance to breathe, to collect herself. She stood and made her way out of the temple. In a dazed like state she continued down the path to Rhysand’s house.

An hour later she found herself walking amongst high rise buildings that were lining either side of the street. The sight of the city brought her mind back to the present. She hadn’t known when the forest had ended and when the city had started, she had been making the trek back in a zombie like state. She was surprised that she even made it to the city. Her face felt sticky so did her hands. She made her way to one of the public bathrooms so she could wash up. Her reflection in the mirror looked awful, her eyes and nose were swollen and red, dried tracks of tears that ran down her face were visible. As she washed her hands and her face, she recalled the reason for her state and did what she did best, she reopened that vault in her mind and shoved all these memories in it and shut quickly before it could rush out the door again. She couldn’t go back to Rhysand’s place looking like this. She needed to compose herself.

She was famished after the long journey and made her way to the nearest restaurant. She sat at an empty table and gobbled down her meal. She then began to practice smiling. She could not afford to have Rhysand thinking she’s depressed again and to have him snooping around in her head. Even though he vowed to never do it again, it was a risk she was not willing to take. It would only hurt her to explain everything and it would bring him unnecessary pain too. Everyone was just better off not knowing this story.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will explain the child... eventually... lol Bear with me please.


	10. Chapter 10

Aedryana forced herself back onto the path that led to Rhysand’s house. She couldn’t hide away in the restaurant forever, her emotions had calmed down and she felt safe to reenter the world again. The house loomed up at her a short while later. The mansion was twice as large as the house of wind, half of her thought it was ridiculous to have such a large and lavish place that housed so few people but the other half thought it was absolutely breath taking. As she made her way up the stairs to the front door she spotted the shadowsinger exiting. “Azriel” she called out.

Azriel was dressed in his usual Illyrian leathers, shadows, as always, clung to his form and all 7 of his sapphire blue siphons shone brightly against the darkness of the shadows and his attire. Illyrians typically wear one or two siphons however both Cassian and Azriel require 7 each to filter their raw magic. Their power and skill was highly valued and proved to be a great source to the Night Court time and time again. Though to Aedryana they were just the dorks she loved to mess around with.

~~

Azriel, who had been in deep thought about his meeting with Rhysand, was startled when he heard his name being called out as he exited the manor. He looked up to find a smiling Aedryana walking up to him. “Hey Aed” he said as he embraced her. It was still a slight shock to his system every time he saw her. He, like everyone else believed her to be dead for the longest time. He would never forget the day he found out she had been slaughtered. He was training with Cass when they both received the news. Cassian and Rhysand are very expressive people, fighting and lashing out were the best way they knew how to unleash their anger. For him though life had been very different. Even though he had a family and siblings, he never really felt like he was a part of them until he met Cassian and Rhysand. They showed him the true meaning of family. Along the way he met Aedryana who used to follow her brother around like his shadow whenever she got the chance. She was barely 12 at the time. She was feisty and full of life. For a little girl she had such a strong conviction to prove everyone wrong about females, he had immediately taken a liking to her. She became a little sister to him just like how Rhysand and Cassian became brothers to him.

The news of her death rocked his world. He wished he could be as expressive of his anger as his brothers but that was just not the way he was. He internalized everything. His heart was shattered but he found a way to move on, he never forgot her, he never let that pain of losing someone you loved leave him, he carried it with him throughout the years as a constant reminder that sometimes life can be hard, painful, and short even if you are immortal.

Looking at her now still pained his heart, he was relieved to see her alive and well but there’s always that thought at the back of his mind that went “for how long”. He noticed that her eyes had the faintest tinge of red, so did her nose. Her smile was bright but it did nothing to mask the sadness in her eyes. His brotherly instincts kicked in as his temper rose causing his siphons to glow a little brighter. Who dare hurt her, he thought. Maybe he should ask her what happened, why was she sad, who inflicted this pain on her. But he thought better of it, whatever was going on was her personal dilemma and if she wished for him to know she would have told him. “Have you heard the news?” He asked. Perhaps if he distracted her with something happy the sadness would diminish from those beautiful eyes. “The baby?” she asked. “It’s a blessing from mother isn’t it? We should have everyone over later to celebrate.” Even though her voice was full of joy, the sadness in her eyes only seemed to deepen as she spoke. He couldn’t understand why such news would bring her pain but perhaps it’s not this that was worrying her. Perhaps it was what he had seen earlier.

Just after breakfast, Azriel had made his way over to the mansion. As he flew to the rooftop he noticed Aed at her window. The windows at the mansion were designed to be large enough to cater for them and their wings so that one could fly out from any room in the house. Aed looked as if she wanted to fly but couldn’t. Her face had contorted into a look of fear as she stepped onto the ledge. Before he could reach the roof she had withdrawn and shut the window. If she was worried over her ability to fly again then he could undoubtedly help her with that issue since just recent he taught Feyre how to fly from scratch. With someone who already knew how to fly, it would be quite easy.

“Aed, I saw you earlier” He started cautiously. He didn’t know how to gently ask her if she wanted him to help her without offending her. Lately she had been moody and sensitive and he didn’t want to make things worse. And it didn’t help that he wasn’t the greatest with words. “You were trying to fly. I know it’s been a while since you were able to. If you ever need help lifting off, I’m always here” two bright pink spots formed on her cheeks “You saw that?” She asked clearly embarrassed. He nodded slowly offering her a tentative smile. “I really wanted to take the leap Az. I’ve dreamt of flying for so long but when I was finally presented with the opportunity to do so I just couldn’t. I was never one to fear heights but just standing on the ledge. I just couldn’t do it Az. I think there’s something wrong with me”. “I assure you there’s nothing wrong. Give it some time that fear would diminish. Once you’re in the air you’ll think back to this moment and realize how silly you’re being. But there is one thing that concerns me. Your wings haven’t been used in a long time Aed. So the muscle that you gained whilst learning how to fly must have deteriorated. I am glad that you didn’t just leap off, I was afraid that you might have just landed on your face. I think we should start off doing some exercises to strengthen up your wings first before you can take off. Give me a shout when you’re free I could show you what to do”. A moment of silence passed, Azriel thought he overstepped and she was going to decline his offer. “I would love that Az. Perhaps we can draw up a schedule since I’ve decided to do some training with Cass”. “Sure thing, Aed. I need to head off now, let me about your schedule” As Aed nodded, Azriel unfurled his wings and took off.

~~

Aed was mentally and physically exhausted. She felt a little embarrassed that Azriel saw her attempt to fly. But at the same time she was glad that he did for she didn’t know how to broach the subject of flying to anyone. And of all people he would be the best teacher for her since he was much more patient and tolerant than Rhys and Cass.

She entered the house much calmer than she thought she could be. She ran a steaming hot bath. Her memories that escaped from the vault of her mind during her visit to the temple faded as she scrubbed away the dirt from the trip. The vault locks slid one after the other into place as she began thinking of how to schedule her lessons with Cass and Az. A small smile tugged at her lips at the thought of getting back into the swing of things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for such a delay in chapter update. Unfortunately my drafts have caught up with me so from now onward I need to write before releasing chapters. The updates are therefore going to be slow (sorry). 
> 
> This is the last detouring inner circle chapter. I just wanted her to have some interactions with her old friends/family before we get into the Tam side of things. 
> 
> Next chapter will be the reveal of how she was captured and Tamlin will finally appear. FINALLY ... unless I add more nonsense inner circle stuff lol I don't know, will see.


	11. Chapter 11

The months passed by in a blur of wings and steel. With the help of Cassian, Aedryana was almost back to her old fighting form. She had won each and every fight with the Illyrian soldiers that Cassian paired her up with and was only a few short moves from kicking Cassian’s ass as well. During one of the training sessions where Aed was facing Cass, Rhysand had dropped by and was supervising the match. At the end he commented that Cassian better watch his back or else the Night Court army might just have a new general to contend with. The comment, even though it was said as a joke, made Aedryana feel proud that her brother considered her to be on the same level as Cassian whom she held on a high pedestal when it came to fighting, higher than Rhysand even. 

During her training visits to Illyria she encountered an unexpected female. It was quite a shock to her system to learn that the female warrior she was sparing with was Feyre’s estranged sister Nesta. She was so caught up with analyzing the differences and the likeness between the sisters that she didn’t register the fist coming right at her face earning her a broken nose. That caused Aedryana to focus and she started to give Nesta a pounding. From the way Nesta fought you could tell she was a novice but one with so much raw passion and fire that anyone could see that she’d be a great fighter once properly trained. And there was no greater trainer than Cassian.

After the match Cassian filled her in on Nesta’s situation. Nesta was kind of like the black sheep of the family who was shipped off to Illyria since they didn’t know what else to do with her. Aed felt for the girl. The emotion in Cassian’s voice when he spoke about her led Aed to believe that he liked her, he liked her a lot. Aed tried to speak with Nesta, she wanted to become close with her since this was someone Cassian cared about and because Nesta didn’t seem to have a lot of people on her side. Aed tried and failed, Nesta seemed to have a brick wall reinforced with steel that prevented people from getting close to her but perhaps in time she’d let Aed in. Aed crossed her fingers for Nesta and Cassian. She had never seen him like this before so she really hoped it panned out and that Nesta’s shield around her heart would crumble and let Cassian in. He deserved all the love and happiness in the world and if Nesta could give that to him then she was rooting for them.

Her training with Azriel was much shorter than expected. Since Aedryana already knew how to fly it was only a matter of strengthening her wings and getting over her fear of jumping out of her bedroom window or a cliff. Once her wings had enough strength in them she attempted to fly, instead of leaping off from a cliff, Azriel suggested she lift off from the ground. The attempt was more than successful, once she was off the ground she soared high enough to touch the clouds. All fear Aed had of heights, of never being able to fly again left her, it was the most exhilarating feeling she’d had in a long, long time. To be so free, up there it was just her and endless amounts of space and air. It was calming and peaceful and she never wanted to go back to the ground and back to her problems. She looked around and was mesmerized. You never quite understand how beautiful the world is until you get view from the top. She could see Velaris, the sea and even the snowcapped mountains of Illyria in the great distance. That day she got a little carried away and flew until her wings couldn’t carry her any longer resulting in her being stranded on the outskirts of the city. She used her winnowing abilities to get her back home but that was the last day that she used those abilities. Ever since then she used her wings for everything, winnowing took a major back step.

When Aed wasn’t training she was out about the city getting a taste of all the new and wonderful flavors that she had missed out on as well as shopping until her closets were bursting. The clothing had changed drastically since she’d been gone but there were still the classics that never changed. She learnt that Rhys kept all of her stuff as they were in the old house. She still had all the dresses that her mother sewed for her in pristine condition. As weird as it sounds the dresses made her feel like her mother is still around, like a piece of her mom lives within them. She also became friends with Elain… sort of… she still doesn’t know much about her except for the fact that Elain has a passion for gardening and likes to cook and bake. They ended up bonding because of the baby. One of the healers that were in charge of Feyre’s health during the course of the pregnancy was now able to determine the sex of the child. There’s going to be a little Rhysand roaming around the house, they were both thrilled about the news and talked about which features of Rhysand and Feyre the child was going to inherit and how much they were going to spoil him. They even began shopping for baby clothes.

A few weeks ago she would have never imagined life to be going as smoothly as it was now. These days she was happy, healthy and her relationship with Rhysand was fully mended. She basically regained everything she once lost yet there’s always the feeling of something missing in her chest. No matter how distracting her days are that feeling never seems to go away. She knew what it was or rather who. She needed desperately to see him, to get to the bottom of this story but she was so afraid. She loves him. She has loved him for more years than she could count. She want nothing more than to see him smile, to hear his voice, to hold him, touch him, feel him. But those smiles won’t be for her, not anymore. She does not think she could bear to look upon his face and see the rejection, to see that he no longer held any love for her in those beautiful green eyes. The heart that should have been hers was given to Feyre and she doesn’t think it was ever returned to be given to someone else again.

On one of the days when Aed was feeling particularly brave she asked Rhysand if they could go to Spring to straighten out everything with Tamlin. Rhysand refused stating that she was too emotionally weak to face Tamlin. He based that on the period of depression she had gone through when he and Feyre told their story dealing with Amarantha. He didn’t think she would be able to handle seeing Tamlin face to face and be able to do what needed to be done. He thought she was out for blood and wanted to kill Tam. He was so very wrong and she wasn’t inclined to right him. She did drop the topic though, she didn’t push to see Tamlin since a part of her knew Rhys was right; she was emotionally weak and not ready to see him. However that hole in her chest just seems to grow larger the more she ignored it until he was all she could think about.

This time after practice with Cassian whilst feeling all pumped up and determined she pleaded to Rhysand to see Tamlin once more. To her surprise he agreed. However it would be on his terms, Tamlin would come to the mansion, to an environment Rhys had full control over and they would talk. And if Aedryana felt the need to attack him then Rhysand assured her that he’d have her back and he’d help her kill Tamlin. She almost laughed at his statement but held it in and kept her facial expression serious. She was treading a fine line here. Rhysand was going into this meeting blind and she most definitely did not want him to attack Tamlin under any circumstances. However if she told Rhysand everything that transpired between them then he’d definitely kill Tam. So she continued to keep him in the dark and decided to deal with the consequences when the time comes. The meeting would be a week from now at midday, he was invited under the guise of a political lunch. Rhysand told her not to get her hopes up that Tam would show, it did seem highly unlikely after everything that happened however Rhysand had a sliver of hope that Tam wouldn’t pass up the opportunity to get a glimpse of the night court.

~~

Tamlin sat on the floor of his dirty kitchen. He held a bone with scraps of meat clinging onto it yet he hadn’t taken a bite. He had no appetite these days and his dinner had long run cold. This had become routine in the past few months. He’d sit on the floor with his latest kill hastily roasted and instead of eating he’d daydream about every awful thing that happened for the last year and the role he played in it. Even the smell of the rotting elk carcass lying at one end of the kitchen hadn’t deterred him from these thoughts. He was accustomed to the smell, the filth. The once pristine Spring Manor was now worse than a pigs sty. Even the flowers avoided this place, leaving in its wake thorn bushes. 

As Tamlin stared blankly into nothingness, a note born from fire emerged right in front of his eyes. He watched it fall onto his lap not bothering to pick it up. What was it this time he wondered, another high lords meeting? Another plea to send soldiers from other courts into his land? He planned to ignore the fire message and go about day dreaming but he couldn’t, the note felt like bricks laid upon his lap. So he put the meat that he had no intention of eating down and read the note.

He couldn’t believe his eyes. From all the communications received from Rhysand, he knew Rhys’s handwriting so this note couldn’t have been a fake. The note stated that he was invited to lunch at the Night Court to discuss the threat of the mortal queens and Spring’s role in it. It seemed rather odd and highly unlikely for such a message to be addressed to him and him alone, the other high lords didn’t seem to be invited. Tamlin knew the note was not a friendly gesture, whoever went into the Night Court never came out and with all the things that have passed between Rhysand, Feyre and himself there was no way he was walking out of the Night court alive but he didn’t care. There was only one thought on his mind. Feyre. He would gladly go to his death if he could just see her again and seek her forgiveness.

She had sent him a note after the war telling him to be happy but he knew she hated him. He didn’t blame her for her hatred. After all his time in solitude he realized how much he wronged her. Though despite everything he did and despite everything she did, he still held love for her, he still wished to see her and to apologize. He decided he would go to the Night Court even if it meant it was the last thing he’d ever do.     

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Update after ages - I'm sorry - I know its a messy chapter but just needed to get it out.
> 
> What do you guys think of Nesta and of Nessian?  
> \- I think Nesta is broken and traumatized and is dealing with things the way she knows best. I'm really looking forward to the new acotar novel to see how she heals and how she moves forward from this.  
> \- I absolutely adore Cassian and I really hope that as Nesta is on her healing journey she can help heal his wounds from his past as well. I hope they are end game and some other "new" character don't magically show up and claim to be one of their true partners (typical sjm style ugh hate that)
> 
> Also TAMLIN FINALLYYYYYY made an appearance!!! So Tam is like the fictional love of my life (If my user name doesn't give it away) so I was really nervous about writing his scenes in case I royally mess it up, I have been putting it off for a few chapters now lol But I couldnt do it for any longer.


	12. Chapter 12

It was the break of dawn and Aedryana was pacing about her room. She had been a bundle of nerves ever since Rhysand sent that fire message. Today was the day of the meeting. She was so nervous she hadn’t slept the previous night. In just a few hours she’d be face to face with the man that turned her world upside down and just when she regained a semblance of normalcy it was about to shaken up again. A third of her hoped he had ignored the messaged and wouldn’t show up, the other third was caught up with carnal desire and wanted to desperately touch and feel him again and the last part just wanted to know if there was any place left for her in his life.

After soaking in her tub where she blended a plethora of flower scented bath oils which resulted in her smelling like she’d been hit by every flower that bloomed in Spring, she made her way to breakfast where she picked at her food unable to get anything down. She had missed the entire table conversation whilst her mind had been playing scenarios of how lunch is going to go in her head. She realized Rhysand was talking to her when she excused herself from the table. She felt a little guilty for ignoring him but she had bigger problems to worry about, like what she was going to wear.

She had laid out her entire wardrobe on her bed in an attempt to figure out which dress was the best. Eventually she ruled out the sparkling night gowns and the super plain “for house use” dresses. After many changes she finally settled on an emerald green dress. The sleeves were slightly off shoulder with golden embellishments on each sleeve. The dress outlined her bosom and was tight along the bodice. From the waist downwards it changed into a flowy gown with deep green embellishments adorning the bottom half of the gown and a slit up her thigh. It was the perfect blend of elegant, sexy and still had room for her legs to kick out if the need to fight ever arose. Even though the dress was beautiful it was not her main reason for choosing it, she was drawn to it because it matched his eyes. Even though his eye color often changed from lighter spring green colors to darker green colors depending on his mood, the colors of the dress she chose were the shade that his eyes were when he was with her. A dark green encasing the difference hues trapped in an emerald stone with flecks of gold embedded in them. She’d noticed sometimes the gold in his eyes would turn molten and takes over the green until very little remained. It was normally when his beastly side would come out, or if they were in a passionate embrace. She could argue that perhaps she saw the gold more often than the green. Just before she could get caught up in the memories of them kissing and touching and doing things her brother would most definitely not approve of, she heard a knock at her door breaking her away from her thoughts.

“Wow, you look beautiful” Rhysand said once Aedryana opened her room door. “Though, I don’t think it’s right for that bastard to have such a beautiful view as he dies”. Aedryana froze at his words, he had still believed they were going to rough Tamlin up or end him tonight. She hadn’t told him otherwise. “Rhysand, I know we said we’re going to have our revenge for our family today but I’ve changed my mind”. Rhysand’s face changed from serious to confused to worried “Aed, if you’re not ready we can still stop this, I can prevent him from ever stepping foot here. We can wait until you’re ready, no matter how long that takes”. “No Rhysand, I don’t mean that, I want him to come here. But I don’t want to ambush him, I want him to explain. Why did he and his family do this to us? He was your friend, why would he betray you? Why would he hurt us?” _Why didn’t he look for me? Was any of it real?_ She mentally added “I want to know Rhysand”. Rhysand didn’t look pleased with her response but nodded “If that’s what you want Aed, then that’s what we’ll do. Though I can’t promise you I won’t land at least one punch but I’ll try not to”

~~

Tamlin stared at himself in his cracked bathroom mirror. He almost didn’t recognize the haggard male staring back at him. Everything seemed to look dull, from his hair to his skin and even his eyes were such a dark shade of green it almost looked black. He thought that when he truly looked upon himself he would feel a stronger emotion than what he’s been feeling lately but it wasn’t true. He felt numb. He didn’t care if he looked like a dying male, he was going to die soon anyways.

For the last few months all he did was hunt, hunt for food, hunt the remaining Hybern men in his land, it was the least he could do for the few that remained at Spring. Almost everyone was evacuated during the war and afterwards only a fraction of his people came back. He didn’t blame them, he wouldn’t have come back either if he was in their shoes.

In those months, bathing and taking care of himself and his health wasn’t a priority. He wouldn’t have cared to clean himself up now if it wasn’t for this lunch. He didn’t want to give Feyre more reason than she already had to cringe away from him. So he bathed, the tub was filled with cold water that he didn’t feel like heating. He scrubbed his skin until it was creamy white again, washed his hair until all the grime was gone and shaved the beard that had grown.

Once dressed and ready he winnowed to the entrance of the Night Court, a guard was to take him to Rhysand’s manor. Along the way he marveled at the sight of the court that everyone spoke of as the court of nightmares. He was amazed by the court that looked nothing like what he could have imagined, it was like a concrete jungle. Rows of houses and apartments, buildings rising upwards. All types of fae mingling peacefully. It was beautiful but the place also felt cold as nights often are. There was an absence of nature here, there weren’t any fields or forests, there was a lack of peace and quiet that Spring had. However this was a different type of living, he reminded himself, one that seemed to work for these people. As Tamlin continued thinking about the way this place was built and how everyone works together he arrived at the doorstep of Rhysand’s manor. His stomach immediately knotted up, he was so caught up in everything that he hadn’t paused to think about what was going to happen today, what he was going to say to Feyre. He had been thinking of the right words to apologize to her for the past week but now his brain was wiped of everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I know Tamlin's eye color doesn't change but I liked the idea of his eyes having slight variances depending on his mood and a completely different color when his beastly side comes out. Lots of people tend to forget that those eyes arent just plain green.


	13. Chapter 13

Aed was in her room fidgeting with her hair, as a means to keep her distracted, when the doorbell rang. She thought her heart was going to pop out of her chest at the sound. She took a few deep, calming breaths and made her way to the entrance.

~~

At the sound of the doorbell, Rhysand took Feyre’s hand and laid a kiss upon it. _It’s going to be ok Feyre darling,_ he sent her a mental message packed with love and assurance that he’s here with her and he’s not going to leave her side. Feyre had been stressed for the past week when he told her that Tamlin could be visiting. His heavily pregnant wife hated Tamlin with all her being. After the war she had written a note to Tamlin that wished him well in life and she tried to forget everything that happened and move on with her life however that was much easier said than done. Rhysand had done everything in his power to help her move on from the trauma she endured. He showered her with love, attention and worshipped every inch of her body. The mother had even blessed them with a child. He saw the darkness of her past receded every day until almost nothing was left however for the past week it was like they were back to square one, her nightmares started again, she began getting sick and that wasn’t good for his wife and their child. He reminded her every day of how strong she was, of everything she accomplished, overcame and what she has attained right now. It helped push all of that trauma back however today she couldn’t help but be nervous and uncomfortable with this encounter.

Rhysand was angry to put his mate through this but he couldn’t think of her happiness only, there was a mystery his sister waited centuries to uncover and he couldn’t waste the opportunity to once and for all end the man that betrayed him in the worst way possible. He remembered then that this was not to be a fight. Aedryana wanted to have a civil conversation first. He tried to calm himself down as the doors to the manor opened.

~~

The doors to the manor opened and Tamlin was guided into the house. It was beautifully furnished with rich rugs and golden etchings upon the walls. The space was bright and airy. He didn’t get the feeling of impending doom that he was sure was waiting for him.  To his left he found Feyre, he had never seen her look as beautiful as she looked now, she was radiant, almost glowing. His sense of smell caught the mixture of Rhysand and Feyre emanating from her and his gaze immediately fell upon her swollen belly. He was shocked that the first emotion he felt wasn’t anger but happiness for her. He hadn’t realized until now that all along he felt like he damaged her beyond repair, but seeing her happy and with child allowed him to release the stress that he had been holding onto. “I guess congratula-” He began to speak when the faintest of smells caught his attention causing him to turn towards the staircase. It was a scent he would never forget, one he could recognize anywhere even if it was shrouded in the fragrance of a thousand flowers. Though it was also a scent that shouldn’t, that couldn’t exist.

The image that greeted him was that of a dream. He felt like he was swept away to an alternate universe. To a time where he didn’t know the pain of losing a loved one. Descending the staircase was the female he had hoped to spend eternity with, the female that knew him better than he knew himself, the female that was ripped from him before he even got the chance to ask for her hand in marriage.

His body moved before he had a chance to think.

~~

The image of a tall male with hair that was a thousand shades of gold flowing down his lean back came into view and Aedryana’s heart suddenly jumped into overdrive. The nerves that she just managed to get under control returned with a force. She wanted to run back to her room and pretend like none of this is happening. She also wanted to run to him and never let go. As her mind was juggling those two options he turned around and faced her. The moment felt like time had stopped and they were frozen in place. The world fell away as he broke their mesmerizing moment and approached her. Aedryana’s body had a mind of its own and moved on its own accord as she was still shocked at the sight she was seeing.

Her arms wrapped around him the moment his fingers found her waist and pulled her as close to him as possible. Within seconds their lips had found each other and it was fire and magic. He kissed her like a man starved and she reciprocated with the same force. All her worrying and uneasiness had melted away the moment she tasted him. He was her home, where she belonged, the one that knew every side to her, even the downright annoying and ugly side and still loved her, he was the one who she would die a thousand deaths for just to get a glimpse of those eyes. He was her **_mate_**.

And their mating bond, which never had the chance of being accepted, still thrummed through her and filled her with his emotions, his love. It made her feel silly for ever doubting his love, for ever doubting that their bond had evaporated the moment he met Feyre. She hadn’t a clue on how these bonds worked and how exactly Tamlin was sending his emotions through to her but she wanted to do the same and tell him in ways that words couldn’t justify how she felt about him, how much she missed him, how much she feared her love wasn’t enough for him and how much she loved him. She thought her attempt had worked because their passionate kiss intensified and his arms tightened around her. He was wrapping her with feelings of never letting her go again.

As her hands began to tangle itself in his hair, Tamlin was ripped from her. Her body instantly went cold, the feeling of loss and loneliness enveloped her before she could wrap her head around the situation. As she looked to the end of the room, Tamlin was being hoisted up from the floor by the collar, Rhysand had a look of pure rage on his face. His free arm was pulled back and ready to punch Tamlin, who showed no signs of resistance.

“No!” Aedryana screamed as she winnowed to Rhysand and caught his arm just before the blow landed. Her emotions quickly changed from terror to the same rage that marred Rhysand’s face only moments ago. She put as much force as she could and flung the arm she was holding onto. The impact made Rhysand release his hold on Tamlin and stumble a few paces back. Aedryana then rushed to Tam to make sure he was ok, her fingers gently traced his face looking for any wounds, there was a slight bruising on his cheek that was quickly healing, a quick assessment of his body showed no signs of broken bones. When she was happy she stood up and blocked Tamlin from Rhysand’s view, her fists all balled up, she was ready to go to war. Rhysand looked at her utterly baffled.

A good few moments passed between Aedryana and Rhysand’s staring match. Tamlin pulled himself up and stood next to Aedryana, his gentle touch on her arm broke her eye contact with Rhysand and simultaneously caused the rage that was there earlier to pass through Rhys’s face before dissipating as his sister glanced up at him.

“Talk” Rhysand said, looking like he needed a drink. A strong one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I updated after eons, I know. Im sorry. I shall try to do better from now onwards. But in good news THEY FINALLYYYY METTT!!! yayyy lol 
> 
> Did you guys think they were mates or just past lovers?


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